Dear: xCali-CatX,
I don't really know how to tell you this but i dislike your eye lashes. I think I realized it when we skinny dipped in the bath tub at the mental hospital and I saw you sit on my salt-beef bucket. I'm sure you're cowardly enough to understand that were related. I'm returning you're balls, but keeping your glass eye as a memory. You should also know that I told my psychiatrist about the bruises and you ruined my attempts at another world war.
Please don't hurt me
Melissa
TEMPLATE:
Dear (person of choice),
I don't really know how to tell you this, but (1). I think I realized it (2) (3) and I saw you (4)(5). I'm sure you'